A discussion erupted while ordering lunch today as to whether or not a certain fruit (Watermelon without the rind) was considered a ‘finger food.’ — Which, by the way, it totally is. This discussion, which may have been my fault, and the odd looks on some of the faces has led me down an awkward, humorously twisted path of discovery.
What dictates that certain foods requires utensils while others do not? Or in a shorter form: What criteria defines an edible entity as a ‘finger food’?
Since the dawn of time, nature itself has dictated what items are finger foods. If we look back hundreds of millions of years ago, the primates ate with their hands: fruits, nuts, meats, and vegetation. As evolution occurred, the same pattern emerged. Even with the advancement of hunting tools, hands were still used for eating. Modern day infants still crawl around and put random items in their mouths. Why? To scare us? No; to taste it. To learn. To understand what is consumable. In short, for as long as we’ve been on this planet, if you could not eat it with your fingers and hands, you did not consume it.
Young children are, by far, the most primal of beings that most of us encounter on a day to day basis. In general, their philosophy is what cannot be useful is eaten; what cannot be eaten will become weaponized. Therefore, by default, what cannot become useful, eaten, or weaponized is discarded. With that as a primal mindset, it is dominate, or be dominated; Conquer or submit. Seeing as how humans only have two hands, efficiency (an entity’s capability to have multiple uses) becomes paramount. Any entity that can classified as any combination of useful, eaten, or weaponized creates a higher level of efficiency.
The most entertaining example of this efficiency is a food fight. Half eaten food hurled towards another person, and the joy that comes from those moments, is that primal need being unleashed. Children wielding a helmet and shield (aka a 2 quart pot and pizza pan) will often take a bite or two for nourishment before hurling the gourmet grenade towards their arch rival. While a spatula might be wielded as a sword during play time, in a food fight, it is a far inferior weapon to a loaf of French bread, polish kielbasa, or a cucumber. Peanuts thrown like buckshot towards oncoming forces as the air hangs thick from an earlier flour based chemical weapon attack. Cheese magically transforms into a Chinese star with the sides partially eaten so it has points. Ketchup becomes the badge of honor surviving with an injury. In those moments, as primal instincts surface, there is no fork. There is no knife. And, with apologies to Neo, there is no spoon.
What criteria defines an edible entity as a ‘finger food’? I submit that the true definition of a ‘finger food’ is anything that can be eaten as well as weaponized during a food fight without the need of a plate, container, or utensil.
Until next time, keep your head down, and don’t forget to pull the pin on the Bavarian Cream Doughnut before you throw it.