My mind spins out of control inside my head. It’s nothing new. I’ve dealt with it my whole life. I’m used to the hurricane, the destruction, the epitome of chaos that is my mind. I pluck pieces from the insanity as I need them, pull them forward, and use them to relay information to others while the world spins inside my head.
I will discuss rope and ties, while my mind is thinking about Object-oriented design of a new nano-engineered software model with a self adjusting/learning capability (no, that’s not fiction). At the same exact moment, my mind will be humming the tune to “Fraggle Rock,” all while typing out this very note you see before you.
It is my sanity. It is my world. It is how I function for I know no other way to be.
When the storm ceases and my mind stops, I can become a ticking bomb, ready to explode and shatter taking everything and everyone around me with me. So the storm continues, and the world spins in the multitasking center that is my mind.
But in every massive storm, there is an eye. And in that eye you can find peace, harmony, and contentment.
When people are brave enough to work through the storm and suffer through it’s rage, they can find the eye. When someone can reach the eye, without being destroyed, they can truly understand all that I can be, and all that I really am. They can find my center, and share in my peace. Most do not make it and are destroyed by it, or run away in time to save themselves. But those that do come to my center, have my respect, and commitment to keep them safe in the eye, and safe from the harm that I can cause without knowing that I’ve done it.
You should know, channeling my storm is not possible, directing it’s energy is. And when someone can share in that energy, it’s an incredible experience, and bond, for me, for them, and between us.
It takes special people to come to terms with that part of my life. To understand the noise in my head, and be willing to suffer through it to comprehend me. For those people, I will do anything in the world.
To those in my life, thank you for being brave enough to suffer through the chaos of my mind – I know it isn’t easy, or fun. And welcome to the eye. Just know that you are safe, cared for, appreciated & respected.